Is my food making me sick?

I've been struggling, which is one reason I haven't written in a couple of weeks.

I’m hurting. And I feel like I’m never going to figure out why.

I write this not for sympathy, or to complain. I write this for anyone who is going through something similar, or worse, and needs to know they are not alone, needs additional resources, wants to ask questions, or just needs to know that someone else out there is listening (or writing!).

I've also been afraid to write about this, because I have friends and family who have gone through/are going through so much more, that I feel that what I am going through is small potatoes, or that no one would care!

I decided to write anyway. If for nothing else, to serve as a journal for myself, to remind me where I started, came from, and how far I have come (because I plan to go very far away from this!!)

I think I eat pretty healthy, I exercise, do yoga, don’t drink much alcohol or eat too much sugar. I sometimes make people uncomfortable with my food choices, I drink Shakeology, and I don’t eat dairy or much meat. I go to a chiropractor, acupuncturist, and naturopath, and am pretty in tune with my body. I get made fun of for it! And now... I feel like crap much of the time. Headaches, body aches, skin aches, upset stomach, strange nausea, fatigue. All this seems to have no rhyme or reason to it, except for after I eat rich meals, sugar, or drink alcohol, I feel like crap. Am I alone in this? Is any food I eat actually good for me anymore? Can I ever indulge and enjoy what I love again? Is all my "healthiness" for nothing? Or has it just ruined me? Can I never process a processed food again? Am I not as healthy as I think I am?

Thinking about preventing cancer and other diseases and trying to figure out what foods best fuel my body and what philosophies I believe in (vegan, wheat free, paleo, etc.), and sticking to it is hard enough! Right? I read too much, I know too much. And now, I have to figure out what is causing my body the symptoms I have been having. As if it isn't hard enough to eat well! As if it isn't expensive enough!

This has been quite a journey these past few years. I’ve dealt with headaches since before my son was born and it was attributed to stress and tension. I got massages. Then they found vertebrae out of alignment in my neck and dehydration could be culprits. I went to the chiropractor. I went to an acupuncturist. And now, those things, plus some food sensitivities seem to be making me feel yucky. And worse than ever. I feel like I just keep adding to the list! And I also feel like this journey just started over!

Lately the headaches have gotten worse (a brain tumor has been ruled out because of my symptoms). I can’t drink any alcohol for fear of a ridiculous debilitating headache the next day. In bed until 3:00pm kind of headache. Puking. And that is from one drink of Grey Goose Vodka and soda. I can’t eat much sugar, especially refined. Natural sweeteners don’t seem to bother me too much. I can eat Coconut Bliss ice cream! Yay!

AND THEN! Yes, there is more! All of a sudden I started getting these crazy skin sensitivities! Like, I couldn't touch my skin because it hurt. And it kept moving around my body! One day it was on my left arm and my sleeve was hurting my arm. The next day it was on the sides of both my hips and it hurt to pull my pants on and off! Next, it was my back. Arghhhhh...when will it end?

All of this has lead me to be on a food elimation diet (with the guidance of my naturopath). Fancy, huh? Something is causing these crazy symptoms! But what?? Basically one eliminates all typical foods that cause allergies or sensitivities: wheat, dairy, corn, sugar, eggs, coffee, tea…you get the idea. 2 weeks of this and then one adds those foods back in, one at a time, to see what happens. Yay.

I’m on week two. Aside from a few annoying small "headaches", some body aches (detoxing??), irritability, fatigue, introspection and antisocialness, I'm doing pretty great. Surprisingly sticking with it! I've broken a habit! I'm following the diet! It finally got bad enough and this is what is making me stick to it. I'm TIRED of feeling like crap and I want to figure it out.

By the way, Matcha green tea is saving my life right now. How did I not know about this stuff?? Way better than the green tea bags. More of a kick. More robust (is that a word when you talk about tea?). And with some almond milk? Really helped with giving up coffee.

This whole experience has me reading more (Oh no!) about the food I am eating. I just picked up “Wheat Belly” by Dr. William Davis. It has really opened my eyes, so far, about how genetically modified ALL of our wheat is! This is not the same wheat our grandmothers ate and made homemade breads with.

It has also made me look differently at all the food around me. The processed, not real, sugar/fat/salt packed everything. I can’t have it right now, but it also makes me look at it at a new angle. What am I really putting into my body? Does my body need it? Is it giving me fuel? Is it going to make me feel like crap in the next hour? It probably sounds like a very boring way to live. But shouldn’t we all be thinking this way for optimum health?

Sooooo...out of all of this chaos, some good things are emerging:

*My yoga practice is improving. Not sure why, but I am more flexible and have more stamina in my super hot Bikram yoga class
*My skin irritations have gone away! Which means some sort of food is causing it. But what? I'll find out later when I add things back in.
*I don't need coffee. In fact, I think it was making me feel worse than I thought. I do need some caffeine though and I found a new way! Matcha!
*I don't know as much as I thought I did!
*Things taste better when you don't eat as much sugar.

I've discovered some new things! I love discovering new things! Especially when they are healthy :)

*Match Green Tea - Why has no one told me about this? Powdered green tea, not in a tea bag, which can be mixed with any sort alternative milk for a nice caffeine kick in the morning! So much better for me.Currently looking for an organic version that doesn't cost an arm and a leg.
*Go Macro Bars - awesomeness that I can eat - Gluten Free!
*Kit's Organic Fruit and Nut bars - second choice awesomeness that I can eat - by Clif bar. Gluten Free!


All of this brings me to so many questions:
Why is my food making me sick? If I am getting sick, how many other people out there are sick from their food too and just dealing with it? How good could we/should we feel? Why are they putting so much junk in our food? Why is it so intensely complicated and expensive to eat well? And so hard for so many people?

How can I help others?????

I feel like I've been forced, in a good way, for good reasons to eat a very strict, healthy diet. I have big reasons WHY: I don't want my symptoms anymore, and I don't want them to get worse.

So that is my story so far. There is more to come and I hope I find out some definite information when I start adding food back in. Maybe we will all learn something!

Until then, please write. I'd love to hear about your experiences! Let's all share and help each other!

Be Well,
Mandy